Strange-ness that is my dreams-shit and piss

I have not interpreted my dreams in awhile due to some serious depression going on in me, but last nights dream just couldn't go with out some kind of interpretation! I have been having VERY vivid dreams lately and last nights woke me with the stinging fear and anxiety that held me captive for about an hour before i was able to drift back to sleep.

From where i remember it began in a school yard, the middle school from my childhood, it was dark and everything was in the form of shadows besides a group of animals that were preforming with fire. I was rolling around in a doughnut shaped pillow and dodging shadows that were spectators to the performance. I distinctly remember seeing a baby tiger.
Then i was interrupted by someone who must have been running the show and the pillow i was rolling around in  and laying on while watching the performance was property of the performers and they took it from me. I remember hearing the man say that is was like some freak hippy who couldn't keep herself form picking up the hula hoops at a string cheese concert. True i must say, lol. But then i was laying on the ground, which was more like a mound of dry dirt and watching the show, there was a group of children beside me who were preforming with balls of some kind all in unison. I remember looking at them and thinking that many of the girls looked familiar, maybe they were classmates of Briana? Then a little girl about 9-10 years of age gave me a weggie and i turned around and grabbed her arm and cussed her out saying " Touch my Fucking underwear again and ill break your damn arm" (yikes!) Then the girl asked me where my husband was and i felt like he was dead but he appeared next to me and he told me that he was in the bathroom with diarrhea. I was then in the schools bathroom with him. He said "it smells like shit in here" and i told him it was him that was making the smell. He tried blaming my cooking but i told him no one else in the family had the issue.

School
 A dream that takes place in school may be a metaphor for the lessons that you are learning from your waking life.
You may be going through a "spiritual learning" experience.
Night/Dark
To have a dream that takes place at night, represents some major setbacks and obstacles in achieving your goals. You are being faced with an issue that is not so clear cut. Perhaps, you should put the issues aside so you can clear your head and come back to it later. Alternatively, night may be synonymous with death, rebirth, reflection, and new beginnings.
Shadows
To see you own shadow in your dream, signifies an aspect of yourself which you have not acknowledged or recognized. It may be a quality about yourself or a part of you that you are rejecting or want to keep hidden. These qualities may not necessary be negative, but can be creative ones. Alternatively, the dream may mean that you are in someone else's shadow. You are constantly being overlooked and are fed up with it.
To see a shadowy figure in your dream, represents characteristics which you have not acknowledged or incorporated into your own personality. Alternatively, it symbolizes the young, the helpless or the under-developed.

I am sure all of these symbols connect with each other. I am certinly in a "spiritual journey" and feel quite in the dark with this situation and battle. The light was coming from the fire and performance.....

Animals
To see animals in your dream, represent your own physical characteristic, primitive desires, and sexual nature, depending on the qualities of the particular animal. Animals symbolize the untamed and uncivilized aspects of yourself. Refer to the specific animal in your dream.
Tiger
To see a tiger in your dream, represents power and your ability to exert it in various situations. The dream may also indicate that you need to take more of a leadership role. Alternatively, the tiger represents female sexuality, aggression, and seduction.
Fire
Depending on the context of your dream, to see fire in your dream can symbolize destruction, passion, desire, illumination, purification, transformation, enlightenment, or anger. It may suggest that something old is passing and something new is entering into your life. Your thoughts and views are changing. In particular, if the fire is under control or contained in one area, then it is a metaphor of your own internal fire and inner transformation. The dream may be a metaphor for someone who is "fiery". It represents your drive, motivation, and creative energy. Alternatively, the dream may be warning you of your dangerous or risky activities. You are literally "playing with fire".

Pillow
To see a pillow in your dream, represents comfort. relaxation, ease, and/or luxury. You need to take it easy on yourself. Alternatively, the dream indicates laziness.

To dream that you are lying on a pillow, suggests that you are in need of some mental support. Perhaps there is a situation or matter that you need to "cushion" and soften the blow.

To dream that your pillow is gone, indicates that you are in self-denial.

Ground
To dream that you are on the ground, represents your foundation and support system. It is also the boundary between your conscious and unconscious. You may be getting closer in confronting and acknowledging your unconscious thoughts. The dream may be a pun on being well-grounded and down to earth or that you have been grounded. Perhaps you are feeling restricted in some aspects of your life.

Children
To see children in your dream, signify an aspect of yourself and your childlike qualities. You may be retreating back to a childlike state and longing for the past. You are trying to still satisfy repressed desires and unfulfilled hopes. Perhaps there is something that you need to see grow and nurture. Take some time off and cater to the inner child within. Alternatively, the dream may be highlighting your innocence, purity, simplicity, and carefree attitude. If you are fighting with children, then it implies that you are repressing your inner child. The children could represent someone in your waking life (coworker, mate, sibling, etc.) who is acting like a child. If you see children fighting in your dream, then it means that your sense of morality and character are in conflict.

Ball
To see or play with a ball in your dream, symbolizes completeness and wholeness. It may also indicate that you need to be more in tune with the inner child within. The dream may also be a metaphor for the testicles. Consider also the phrase, "he's got balls" to indicate guts and strength.

To dream that you are watching a ball game, indicates that you need to take more initiative. Your lack of action may stem from your shyness which you must overcome. Perhaps you are too overly self-conscious.

Husband
To see your husband in your dream, signifies the waking relationship with your husband and the unconscious feelings you have towards him. The dream may be trying to focus on hidden elements that you are not addressing in your waking life.

Diarrhea
To dream that you have diarrhea, signifies that some part of your life is going out of control. You can no longer contain your strong emotions and need to get it out of your system quickly. Alternatively, the dream indicates that you have not analyzed a situation long enough or that you do not want to deal with the problem at all.

Bathroom
To dream that you are in the bathroom, relates to your instinctual urges. You may be experiencing some burdens/feelings and need to "relieve yourself". Alternatively, a bathroom symbolizes purification and self-renewal. You need to cleanse yourself, both emotionally and psychologically.

Stinks
To dream that something stinks, suggest that you are not being supported by your social circle or your environment. Alternatively, the dream refers to your suspicions.

I feel this dream is representing my waking relationship with my husband. Also the state of our grief seperatly and together.

Next up i drifted into a dream that i was arriving at my parents home, which was totally different than where they live now. My children went into the living room to watch TV when we arrived and my mother was making beef stew for dinner. He served my dad and went down stairs. Which i found as very odd and asked my father what was wrong with her. He told me that since me and my sisters went to London everything had changed and mom was extremely depressed. I told him that we never went to London and he looked at me kinda crazy and said "You will, right after you give me a piece of your brain that saves my life" As in this was all going to happen in the future or already did, i am not too sure, it was very weird. . I went down stairs and my mother was down there smoking. I noticed a baby in the corner whining and asked whose child it was. She told me she was watching a friends baby while she was working. I picked him up and noticed he looked VERY ILL. His limbs were turning purple and he was curling up into himself as i was trying to hold him. I told my mother that something was very wrong with the child and he needed to go to the hospital immediately. She told me that it was just because the mother had started him on cereal and it may have been a bad reaction. I told her it looked as though the baby had MS and that he NEEDED to go to the hospital and i screamed at her " I will NOT be responsible for the death of someone else's baby!!" She looked at me and sunk into her chair and said "I don't know why i have become so lazy" I brought the child upstairs and he started pooping, it came bursting out of each corner of his diaper and all over the floor, i held him away from me and the diaper fell off and BM and urine was EVERYWHERE! I simple stated that i hated disposable diapers. I looked over and noticed Gerber cereal and carrots in the child's diaper bag. My mother was getting rags to help clean up the mess and i stated that the child needed a bath before we went to the hospital. I was spitting like i had got some crap in my mouth and the last thing i remember seeing was my father, still alone at the table, eating his beef stew. I woke up with the pang of anxiety running through my chest that i couldn't shake for quite awhile. I wonder WTH this dream can mean!?!?
Lets take a look at what the Dream interpretation site calls for.......
Parents
To see your parents in your dream, symbolize both power, shelter, and love. You may be expressing your concerns and worries about your own parents. Alternatively, it represents the merging of the female and male aspects of your character.
Mother
To see your mother in your dream, represents the nurturing aspect of your own character. Mothers offer shelter, comfort, life, guidance and protection. Some people may have problems freeing themselves from their mothers and are thus seeking their own individuality and development.
To dream that you are having a conversation with your mother, denotes a matter that has preoccupied your mind and you are not sure how to deal with it in your waking life. It indicates unresolved problems that need to be worked out with your mother.Father
To see your father in your dream, symbolizes authority and protection. It suggests that you need to be more self-reliant. Consider also your waking relationship with your father and how aspects of his character may be incorporated within yourself.
Dinner
To dream that you are eating dinner alone, indicates that you need to do some serious thinking about your goals and directions in life. Alternatively, it may represent independence or lack of social skills.
Stairs
To dream that you are walking down a flight of stairs, represents your repressed thoughts. You are regressing back into your unconscious. It also refers to the setbacks that you are experiencing in your life. If you are afraid of going down the stairs, then it means that you are afraid to confront your repressed emotions and thoughts. Is there something from your past that you are not acknowledging?
Smoking
If you do not smoke in waking life and dream that you are smoking, then it indicates that you are trying to shield yourself and others against your emotions. You have trouble letting others in.
The dream may also be a metaphor for an addictive relationship or habit in your waking life.
To see someone smoking in your dream, depends on your on personal associations with smoking. However, it often indicates some sort of dissension, disagreement or rebellion.

Baby
To see a baby in your dream, signifies innocence, warmth and new beginnings. Babies symbolize something in your own inner nature that is pure, vulnerable, helpless and/or uncorrupted. If you find a baby in your dream, then it suggests that you have acknowledged your hidden potential. If you dream that you forgot you had a baby, then it suggests that you are trying hide your own vulnerabilities; You do not want to let others know of your weaknesses. Alternatively, forgetting about a baby, represents an aspect of yourself that you have abandoned or put aside due to life's changing circumstances. The dream may serve as a reminder that it is time for you to pick up that old interest, hobby, or project again. If you dream that you are on your way to the hospital to have a baby, then it signifies your issues of dependency and your desires to be completely care for. Perhaps you are trying to get out of some responsibility. If you are pregnant in real life, then a more direct interpretation may simply mean that you are experiencing some anxieties of making it to the hospital when the time comes.
To dream of a crying baby, symbolizes a part of yourself that is deprived of attention and needs to be nurtured. Alternatively, it represents your unfulfilled goals and a sense of lacking in your life. If you dream that a baby is neglected, then it suggests that you are not paying enough attention to yourself. You are not utilizing your full potential. Alternatively, this dream could represent your fears about your own children and your ability to protect and to provide for them.Baby Food
To see or feed baby food in your dream, indicates that nurturance and care is needed in a waking situation. Alternatively, the dream may be a metaphor to indicate that you need to eat smaller portions of food.
Feces
To see or come in contact with feces, signifies aspects of yourself that are dirty and negative and which you believe to be undesirable and repulsive. You need to acknowledge and express these feelings, even though it may be shameful. Release the negativity in your life. Alternatively, it may also refer to someone who is anal retentive.
To dream that you are unable to dispose of the feces, suggests that you are unwilling to let go of your emotions. You have a tendency to hold in and keep your feelings to yourself.
According to Freud, feces is related to possession, pride, shame, money/financial matters, or aggressive acts. So to dream that you are playing with feces, symbolizes your anxiety over money matters and financial security.
Urination
To see urine in your dream, represents the feelings you have rejected. Alternatively, the dream may be a pun on your "pissy" attitude.
To dream that you are urinating, symbolizes a cleansing and a release of negative or repressed emotions. Depending on your dream context, urination is symbolic of having or lacking basic control of your life. You are literally "pissed off" and not expressing yourself in a positive or constructive manner.
To dream that someone is urinating on you, means that you are feeling the emotional burden of this person. They are dumping all their feelings on you. Alternatively, the dream symbolizes your lacking sense of self-worth.
Spit
To spit in your dream, signifies an aspect of yourself that you need to get rid of. Spitting represents anger, spite and contempt. Alternatively, the dream implies that you have something that you want to say. Spit it out!Mess
To see a mess in your dream, symbolizes the state of your waking life. You need to get your life in order.
Hospital
To see or dream that you are in a hospital, symbolizes your need to heal or improve your physical or mental health. You need to get back to the flow of everyday life. Alternatively, the dream suggests that you are giving up control of your own body. Perhaps you are afraid of losing control of your body.

I can see what this dream is stating pretty clearly now that ihave it all out in front of me. The loss of my baby made my life and mind a mess and the hospital represents my need for help to get this all out. My father is a representation of myself and eating alone represents my lack in social skills since this "mess" My mother was also a representation of myself and her smoking and being lazy represents my depression and how i want to shield my emotions. The feces and urine represent how i feel ashamed of my current emotional state and what happened to my baby. I feel like a failure and responsible for her death.