Monday, October 3, 2011

Nightmares, Confusion and Tragedy



I really dislike how often my dreams involve tragedy and fearful events. It is honestly getting old.
Last nights dream involved a series of confusing events, tragedy and waking filled with pangs of fear, yet again. :(

I had a couple of dreams before this last disturbing one involving my son eating some substance a lady in my basement concocted that had to do with painting or something along those lines. Then I was washing a wall and all the paint was coming off and even dissolving into the drywall. Each of my dreams were during the evening or just before dusk. I remember Elijah walking in the front door after he was suppose to be sleeping and I was getting angered he would leave the house after he should be in bed because of fear something would happen to him.

The final dream began with me driving in my truck to my sisters house. As I was passing over the creek I was becoming confused as to exactly where her home was. I knew it was just 2 homes after the creek but there were a series of other homes that were there now that never were before. All of these homes looked run down and in dire need of repair. I drove into a drive way and was confused because I thought it was my sister house, but that they were reconstructing it and that is why it looked so different. I was wrong and had to turn around. Just then my Dad, brother and sister were all in the vehicle with me. They were all drunk and trying to tell me where my sisters house was. I remember my dad and brother telling me that they were done drinking but by sister was going to have maybe one more. I was confused over this as well because I kept thinking that she was pregnant and shouldn't be drinking. We pulled into my sisters drive way and got out. It was dark by this time and my husband was there with my children already. There were quite a few people over there and many were off in the woods behind the house. Elijah was upset and came over by me to talk, he was telling me that a boy hit him in the head and I have him a hug and told him not to play with that boy. I looked up and noticed 2 of my sisters walking towards me, they were telling me to come and walk with them through the woods. I was thinking to myself how the kids shouldn't be alone in the woods but you have to "let go" and let them grow sometime in life. I was still feeling uneasy and wanted to walk with them to where the kids were. I started walking towards them and there were trails of gravel that wound around the house and through the woods. The trail was still being built or laid with the gravel and it was loose. I decided to walk along the dirt off of the gravel. I was thinking to myself how my sister Karie bought a home next to my other sister Katie and the trails connected the homes and also went into the woods to an area in the back where everyone was. I heard screaming, my niece Tia in particular. And others started screaming too in the distance behind the trees in the woods. I got panicky and started to jog in the direction of the screams. At first I wasn't sure if they were alarming screams or playful screaming. As I started in the direction of the screams which clearly turned into screams of fear and alarm, a woman came around the path freaking out. She told me not to go over there and to just stay back. I asked her if an ambulance was needed and she said no, I kept asking what happened and if someone was hurt and she said that they were already dead. I started to freak out and kept asking WHO?!? My daughter came around the bend and was crying and was extremely upset. I kept asking her WHO?!? and she wouldn't answer me. Then again I would ask if I needed to call 911 and she said no, we are going to need a bus. Again I was extremely confused and filled with fear. I awoke still wondering who was killed and what happened and just why the hell would we need a bus over an ambulance and filled with absolute fear.


Just about every time i have these kinds of dreams, which is the average I have unfortunately, I wake up tired and exhausted and in a really bad mood. I am getting quite sick of it.